Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What women want?


This last week we continued on in our series about men. We tried to answer the age-old question, “what do women need”. As promised here are the two remaining things we didn’t get to Sunday.

After Abram’s poor decision with Sarai he got caught. Pharaoh himself caught Abram and had it out with him then kicked him out of Egypt.  In all the dialogue between Abram and Pharaoh and then between Abram and Sarai (when he told her they had to move again) guess what we don’t read? AN APPOLOGY! Look at it for yourself – Genesis 12:17-20. There are three simple words Sarai needed to hear Abram say, “I’m an idiot”!

Following in line with Sunday, the 6th thing your wife needs from you is for you to
(6) APOLOGIZE & TAKE OWNERSHIP.

Abram had plenty of opportunity to apologize to both his wife and to Pharaoh but instead of manning up and taking responsibility he just keeps quiet and kind of sleeks out of Egypt. This is what a lot of men do when they have sinned against their wife; they just stay quiet and sleek out of her presence. If they don’t do that then they blame her. And maybe she isn’t innocent in whatever the issue is, but when I read Pauls’ words in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  
God’s response to your, “she’s to blame too” is, “I don’t care”.  You role is to love her like Jesus loved the church, and HOW did Jesus love the church? He died for her when He was innocent and she was guilty. He gave up His right to be right. He took the blame that wasn’t His to take. He died on her behalf, and for her sins.

You might be thinking, “Well that sounds like a bunch of crap!” That’s why only a MAN who loves Jesus can truly love a women, this is no business for self-centered little boys.
Next time there’s a conflict, whether you’re more to blame or she is, man up, and love her like Christ loved the church; like Jesus loved HIS bride. Ask Him for the grace and the strength then take the road less traveled to experience the beauty of a marriage that only a few do.  

Ok, last thing but this last one is usually pretty misunderstood. So, let me start by first saying that if you aren’t practicing steps 1-6 then you have NO BUSINESS trying this one, you’ll also have no credibility with it either. 

(7) LEAD HER
Now usually when we hear, “lead” we think, “control”. Leading isn’t controlling, it’s simply knowing where you all need to go and then going there first.

 Look at Genesis 13:1-4
After all his mistakes Sarai could have easily told Abram to go jump of a cliff before she trusted him again. Likewise, Abram could have sulked in shame and decided he had lost the right to lead his wife, but he finally begins to lead in a godly way again. He lead her and his family BACK TO the place where God had once told Him to go back in the beginning of chapter 12. When Abram left the Negev to go to Egypt he chose to lead his family away from where God had told him to go. Now, he’s leading them back to the Negev and specifically to the place where, “he had first built an alter”. Abram is leading his family back towards God.

As a husband, a father, a man, this is what leading is all about. Leading is about you pointing your wife and your family towards Jesus, and you’ll always lead best by example. Abram got home, stood at the alter and, “called on the name of the Lord”, that means he got on his knees and did business with God in front of his family. So how are you leading your family? This doesn’t mean you have all the answers, you just know who does and that in His presence is where you and your family need to live. So how are you leading in issues of:

·       How to spend money – do you lead them to pray together about it or do you spend how you want not leading them to consult the great giver?
·       How to treat people that have hurt them – do you lead them to take it to Jesus and ask for his grace and strength or just talk negative about people that frustrate you?
·       How often is Jesus a topic of conversation in your home or do you just go through the busyness of the day and He only gets talked about on Sunday at church?
·       How do you deal with stress – do you lead your family in prayer throughout seasons of stress asking for God’s peace or do you just get quiet and snappy and fanaticize about summer vacations?
·       The list is endless but I think you get the idea. Leading is not controlling, but IT IS pointing your wife and family towards Jesus in all things, in all hurts, in all situations, in all decisions, in all disappointments, in all joys, …

So, here again is the pledge we took as men this week; a pledge to the wife and to the women in our lives.

She is the daughter of our creator,                           
the Lord Jesus Christ.
I commit to loving her,                                                                       
by loving and following Him first and foremost.
I commit to cherishing her,                                           
and sharing my heart with her.
I will fight for her,                                                                
apologize to her,
lead her towards Jesus,                                                    
and love her with my words, my actions and my time.