This last week we continued
on in our series about men. We tried to answer the age-old question, “what do
women need”. As promised here are the two remaining things we didn’t get to
Sunday.
After
Abram’s poor decision with Sarai he got caught. Pharaoh himself caught Abram
and had it out with him then kicked him out of Egypt. In all the dialogue between Abram and Pharaoh
and then between Abram and Sarai (when he
told her they had to move again) guess what we don’t read? AN APPOLOGY!
Look at it for yourself – Genesis 12:17-20. There are three simple words Sarai
needed to hear Abram say, “I’m an idiot”!
Following
in line with Sunday, the 6th thing your wife needs from you is for
you to
(6) APOLOGIZE
& TAKE OWNERSHIP.
Abram had plenty of
opportunity to apologize to both his wife and to Pharaoh but instead of manning
up and taking responsibility he just keeps quiet and kind of sleeks out of
Egypt. This is what a lot of men do when they have sinned against their wife;
they just stay quiet and sleek out of her presence. If they don’t do that then
they blame her. And maybe she isn’t innocent in whatever the issue is, but when
I read Pauls’ words in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
God’s response to your, “she’s
to blame too” is, “I don’t care”.
You role is to love her like Jesus loved the church, and HOW did Jesus
love the church? He died for her when He was innocent and she was guilty. He gave up His right to be right. He
took the blame that wasn’t His to take. He died on her behalf, and for her
sins.
You might be thinking, “Well
that sounds like a bunch of crap!” That’s why only a MAN
who loves Jesus can truly love a women, this is no business for self-centered
little boys.
Next time there’s a
conflict, whether you’re more to blame or she is, man up, and love her like
Christ loved the church; like Jesus loved HIS
bride. Ask Him for the grace and the strength then take the road less traveled
to experience the beauty of a marriage that only a few do.
Ok, last thing but this
last one is usually pretty misunderstood. So, let me start by first saying that
if you aren’t practicing steps 1-6 then you have NO BUSINESS trying this one,
you’ll also have no credibility with it either.
(7) LEAD HER
Now usually when we hear,
“lead” we think, “control”. Leading
isn’t controlling, it’s simply knowing where you all need to go and
then going there first.
Look at Genesis 13:1-4
After all his mistakes
Sarai could have easily told Abram to go jump of a cliff before she trusted him
again. Likewise, Abram could have sulked in shame and decided he had lost the
right to lead his wife, but he finally begins to lead in a godly way again. He
lead her and his family BACK TO the place where God had once told Him to go
back in the beginning of chapter 12. When Abram left the Negev to go to Egypt
he chose to lead his family away from where God had told him to go. Now, he’s
leading them back to the Negev and specifically to the place where, “he had
first built an alter”. Abram is leading his family back towards God.
As a husband, a father, a
man, this is what leading is all about. Leading is about you pointing your wife
and your family towards Jesus, and you’ll always lead best by example. Abram
got home, stood at the alter and, “called on the name of the Lord”, that means
he got on his knees and did business with God in front of his family. So how
are you leading your family? This doesn’t mean you have all the answers, you
just know who does and that in His presence is where you and your family need
to live. So how are you leading in issues of:
·
How to spend
money – do you lead them to pray together about it or do you spend how you want not leading them to consult the
great giver?
·
How to treat
people that have hurt them – do you lead them to take it to Jesus and ask for
his grace and strength or just talk negative about people that frustrate you?
·
How often is
Jesus a topic of conversation in your home or do you just go through the busyness
of the day and He only gets talked about on Sunday at church?
·
How do you deal
with stress – do you lead your family in prayer throughout seasons of stress
asking for God’s peace or do you just get quiet and snappy and fanaticize about
summer vacations?
·
The list is
endless but I think you get the idea. Leading is not controlling, but IT IS
pointing your wife and family towards Jesus in all things, in all hurts, in all
situations, in all decisions, in all disappointments, in all joys, …
So, here again is the
pledge we took as men this week; a pledge to the wife and to the women in our
lives.
She is the
daughter of our creator,
the Lord
Jesus Christ.
I commit to
loving her,
by loving and
following Him first and foremost.
I commit to
cherishing her,
and sharing
my heart with her.
I will fight
for her,
apologize to
her,
lead her
towards Jesus,
and love her
with my words, my actions and my time.
